When trying to approach an issue in life, especially when the issue is anxiety or depression, it’s often useful to ask ourselves, “What have I tried in the past to solve this issue, for how long, and has it worked?” Often, the answer will be that we’ve tried the same approach for longer than we want to admit and that, no, it hasn’t really worked. Sigh.
While this is a frustrating moment to confront, it can also provide motivation to take a closer look at how to change our approach to the problem. It’s a moment calling us to be more creative and to have more courage in moving towards what we want in life and who we want to be. It’s a big step, as most of the time we stay stuck in uncreative patterns that we haven’t stopped to question.
Here’s a useful process to go through when assessing whether and how we might be stuck in our approach to an issue:
What strategies have you tried to control, avoid, fight with, change or get rid of unwanted symptoms?
Did these strategies help you reduce the symptoms in the short term?
Did the symptoms return? Did they worsen or increase?
What has each strategy cost you in terms of wasted time, energy, money, health, vitality or relationships? Has it brought you closer to a rich, full, meaningful life in the long term?
The process of answering these questions often exposes that there are quite a few strategies we have tried that have made us “feel better” in the short term. There are many, many coping strategies that work short term. What we’re really going after here, though, is an effective long term approach. That’s why the last question is aimed at whether, through our strategies to deal with anxiety, depression or other life issues, we are moving towards a rich, full, meaningful life. That’s something different, and more lasting, than temporarily feeling better. And often, go figure, this results in us feeling better.
What new thing could you do today that would make a difference in your life?
