If you’re trying to decide whether or not to try therapy for the first time, you might be wondering what therapy is good for. From my perspective, we’ve complicated therapy a bit too much and have made people afraid of it or confused by it. Let’s simplify. At its most basic, here’s what therapy is good for:
Decreasing isolation
If you’re feeling alone, isolated or confused, the last thing you want to do is stay in your house and think about it more. Therapy was invented just for this situation, so that you would always have someone you could go talk to. This type of simple, low-tech, human connection is at its core beautiful and essential. Talking to a therapist helps make meaning and sense of our lives. It helps us to feel less alone. And it gives you someone who is on your team to help you craft the life you really want deep in your heart.
Organizing thoughts and feelings
Everyone knows intuitively that when our minds or emotions are all in a jumble, talking helps. Lots of other things help, too. But talking things through has always been a favorite. When you explain what is going on in your mind and heart out loud, things have a way of clarifying. It’s hard to move forward without clarity, so this is a necessary precursor to change. You have to understand what is going on with you and your life before you can determine what to do about it.
Accountability
We don’t always do very well when left to our own devices or our old skill sets. We tend to fall back on old habits that, if we’re honest, haven’t ever worked very well. Sometimes we love these ineffective and outdated coping methods so much only because they are familiar and the familiar can be deceivingly comforting. Having another person to remind us of our commitment to change and growth and having a place to learn fresh new skills is invaluable.
Staying awake
Therapy is a counter-cultural space in that we slow everything down for an hour, breathe and look at life closely and with intention. We try to find our quiet center. There is no rushing, no interruption to this hour of reflection. In this sense, therapy is an exercise in how to stay awake to our lives rather than letting them pass by in a blur. It is a way of cultivating intention and awareness about how we want to live and the kind of choices we want to make.
A place to rest
Sometimes life’s problems don’t have answers. At times like these, we need a place of comfort and support to simply say, “This is hard.” We need a place where we can figure out how to live with the things we cannot change rather than constantly battling against them and unintentionally increasing our own suffering. Therapy can be a wonderful resting place in the midst of painful events, such as loss and grief, that don’t have an immediate solution.
If you’re thinking about trying therapy, I hope you’ll give yourself permission to take the leap. Why not try something new? What do you have to lose? You might be surprised what you’ll discover about the simple yet profound ways that therapy can help.
