It’s estimated that humans have 70,000 thoughts a day. Watching these thoughts is kind of like watching cars on a freeway go whizzing by. Some thoughts pass by unnoticed but others tend to camp out and get stuck. Sometimes they get stuck because when we’re stressed, anxious or depressed our minds tend to churn out stickier thoughts. These types of thoughts often fall into the following categories:
Thoughts about the past
Dwelling on the past, getting lost in regrets, ruminating on painful memories, and getting caught in blame/resentment or idealizing the past. Thoughts about the past might also include telling yourself that you can’t do something because of the way the past has affected you. Our minds are always trying to go back into the past to fix a problem or complete/alter a narrative. When we’re depressed, we’re more prone to getting stuck on thoughts about the past.
Thoughts about the future
Worst case scenario thinking, catastrophizing, and anticipating some sort of future failure, rejection, or loss. There may also be thoughts about how much better the future will be or, conversely, how you can’t take an important step because it’s doomed to fail anyway. When we’re anxious, we tend to have more future oriented thoughts. These types of thoughts can sabotage us in our efforts to take action or make decisions.
Thoughts about the self
Negative judgments about yourself (how you’re not good enough or broken, etc). Also, positive thoughts about yourself (how much smarter/better you are than others). Included in these kinds of thoughts can be thoughts where your mind is very wrapped up in a role you are in (parent role, sick person role, job role). Also included here are thoughts that involve over-identifying with a label about yourself such as “I’m an anxious person.” These kinds of thoughts trap us in a certain view of ourselves that can make it harder to take steps to change.
Thoughts that are rules
All the “shoulds.” Thoughts about how the world, others, yourself “should” be. Rule thoughts can come from the inside (our minds or experiences) or the outside (family, society). In general, these thoughts are usually all or nothing, black and white types of thoughts. They tend to trap us and limit our thinking about what’s possible.
Thoughts that are reasons/rationalizations
Excuses or reasons that you can’t/won’t change. These thoughts often start with “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t have to because…” The mind throws in all kinds of things here about how something is too scary, risky, pointless or some other reason you can’t or shouldn’t take a certain action.
Thoughts that are judgments
Positive or negative judgments about the past, future, yourself or others. These thoughts are evaluative in nature and create separation. They separate you from connection with others and take you out of the present moment.
All of these categories of thoughts overlap and get tangled with each other in our minds like an unruly ball of yarn! When we practice mindfulness, we’re trying to untangle how stuck we get in these thoughts so that, ultimately, we can suffer less and be more free to pursue the things in life that are important to us without our thoughts getting in the way.
This doesn’t mean the thoughts aren’t there but rather it means that the way that we are responding to the thoughts being there is different. Instead of letting thoughts stop us from taking action, we see them for what they are, just thoughts, and move forward to build the life we want and be the person we want to be even if that means the thoughts are riding in the backseat. At least they’re not driving! And that makes all the difference.
