Once you’ve identified a therapist in Des Moines that you want to have an initial session with or interview, you may find yourself wondering what is going to happen from there? I mean, what IS therapy? In many ways, because therapy takes place in private and because there are confusing messages about what it actually is in movies and other media, many people are just plain confused about what to expect. Let’s see if we can demystify therapy for you some so that you can be more at ease going into the experience, especially if you’re a first timer.
Let’s look at some of the myths about counseling and therapy:
It’s all about digging into your past and talking about your childhood (and maybe blaming your parents).
This is probably what most people think of when they think of therapy but the truth is therapy doesn’t always focus primarily on the past. This is where it’s helpful to understand the type of therapy that a therapist offers. There are some approaches to therapy, such as psychoanalysis (the original and oldest approach to therapy- think Freud), that focus a lot on the past and childhood but not all of them do. Many approaches to therapy are more present and problem solving focused. It’s not that you don’t talk about your past in these approaches, but it tends to be emphasized less.
You just talk a lot and the therapist listens and doesn’t say much.
Again, this depends on the approach but for the most part therapy is an active exchange with another person which is what makes it so helpful. It’s a great way to get out of your own head and get a new perspective.
You need to have a “bad” enough problem to justify going to therapy.
I cannot tell you how many people over the years have sat down on my couch and the first words out of their mouth are:
“I feel really silly being here because I don’t think my problem is so bad that I should come to therapy.”
I think the majority of clients feel this way, actually. Partially, this is due to most of us minimizing our feelings and problems but also it has to do with comparing our problems to others and then judging our problems as less worthy of attention. The thing is, your problems are your problems and no one else can deal with them except for you. This alone is enough of a reason to come to therapy. A lot of what we see in therapy is people trying to navigate all types of life problems…illness, divorce, moving, grieving, transitioning from one phase of life to another, etc. It’s all worthy of attention.
Therapy looks the same for every person.
While a therapist may use some of the same techniques with each of their clients, the experience is completely different person to person- and it should be! It’s like a recipe where when you combine different ingredients you get a totally different dish. Don’t get caught up in what you think therapy “should” look like and whether you are doing it “right.” Focus instead on your needs and how to best get them met by maintaining open communication with your therapist and preparing for your sessions by reflecting on your life in between sessions. The rest will take care of itself.
